Tuesday, 4 May 2010

4th May 2010

This is hard

I have found today really emotionally taxing, I have so much on my mind at the moment. Yesterday I was feeling so positive and upbeat, and today I just feel like braking down. I have decided to follow my own advice, which I posted on this blog, about positive thinking. Write a list of all your worries, this is the first step to fixing them. So here is my list:

1. Starboy left me. I'm feeling rather lonely and unsettled at the moment.
2. Buying a property. My offer on the flat has been accepted but after speaking to mortgage advisers its obvious that I can't afford the monthly repayments.
3. Teacher training. I have an interview on Thursday for a teacher training course. I'm worried about the interview on its own, but also because I won't be able to do the course if i get a mortgage.
4. Living at the bungalow. I'm not enjoying living at the bungalow. I know I could live by myself happily, but I wasn't supposed to live here by myself. It feels very strange.

So those are my worries at the moment. I'm not sure how to fix them. Most of them just need time, which means I will be feeling this stressed and anxious for a while. Another thing is that those worries could turn out to be really positive things. I just hate the waiting game.

I'm off to my yoga class now, hopefully that will calm me down. It normally does.

a very confused, stressed and anxious

1 comment:

  1. Dearest Stargirl!

    I just happened upon your blog the other day...

    a) i know this is cliche, but i believe, deep down, that EVERYTHING happens for a reason...whether we like it or not.

    b) you seem like a tuff gal and you seem like you have the means to talk yourself/get yourself thru the day

    c) sister! thank god you have yoga to go to! i ALWAYS feel better after yoga.

    d) go to the interview knowing it's what you have always wanted to do...there is nothing more important than having a great education, esp if you are going to be doing something you love...all the rest will fall into place, and all in due time!

    looking forward to your updates! :)